Open Letter

Parents.

At this point, I’m sorry to say, your relationship with your child is simple. Either you know him or her, or you don’t. If you are of the latter, I know that doesn’t seem fair, considering all the hard work, time, effort and money you probably put into raising your kid. But it isn’t your fault. At least, it isn’t all your fault. Sometimes, kids and their parents just don’t connect. However, if you are of the first group, as I hope most parents believe they are, there is still something more you should know.

There comes a time when you being his parent is no longer a good enough reason for your child to tell you everything. No matter how good of a relationship you think you have with your son or daughter, I can assure you that there are things he or she doesn’t share with you. This might not be because they distrust you or dislike you, or because they’re doing bad and shameful things behind your back. Sometimes, kids don’t tell you things simply because they don’t want to. Maybe they know you’ll react a certain way, or interfere with something they are determined to accomplish, or that you will be quick to judge because of your perpetually removed point of view. Either way, your child will only tell you things when they decide they should, whenever they feel comfortable enough to let you into their world.

When your child reaches this point, which he will, whether it is in high school, after college, or in 2^nd grade, you have to let yourself come to terms with the fact that your relationship with him has changed. In fact, your job as a parent has always been changing, and it will continue to change. Relationships aren’t static; they’re living things, and they’re affected by circumstance. They need to be cared for and tended to, and sometimes, even the most carefully nurtured relationships can break apart. People can’t be defined by people. People can outgrow each other. It isn’t something to fear or dread. It’s just how things are.

Anyways, parents. When all is said and done, you have to trust yourself. You have to trust that you did your job; that your child has stored away all of your love, wisdom and warnings, and will now be able to go on and live what they choose as a meaningful and fulfilling life. Maybe one day, they’ll give you grandkids that don’t tell either of you everything.

Oh, one more thing. We truly do love you. Thanks for everything.

-Your Kids